1.9

 The fight for Consistency

Habits are always something I've had an issue with. I somehow find good habits hard to keep up and self-destructive habits so easy to fall into (even if they take more effort than the good ones). I don't really know why I'm like this, but I've been doing my best, one day at a time, to build better habits. My best guess is that it's just from years of depression, where I threw all care about my well-being out the window.

I'm not talking about going to the gym or getting my homework done at a reasonable hour; it's the absolute minimum, like drinking water every day. I find it really embarrassing because I feel like my friends don't have these problems, but I think it's important to talk about at least online. Mental health recovery has so many moving parts to it, and this just happens to be one of those parts for me.

I've found this app, Streaks, really helpful this past month. It was like $6, but I think it's worth it. I've put every single thing I need to do daily/weekly/monthly on here, and it's made me so much more consistent. It's helped me break down things I need to do throughout the week instead of trying to do everything at once and giving up. 

It sounds silly to write about, but having my apartment not be a total mess all the time has made me feel so much better about myself. I wish it didn't take me this long to successfully start working towards good habits (I've crashed and burned many times), but everyone has to start somewhere.

Losing My Mind Over Steely Dan

I don't think I've mentioned this before, but I'm a bassist in music school (my degree is a BM in audio engineering). My school has a mandatory attendance for a variety hour every week, where anyone can sign up to perform for 15 minutes of the hour. It's kinda bizarre that it's mandatory and you can get held back if you 'fail' this 0-credit 'course,' but I kinda get why at the same time. It gives people a chance to perform for the first time, and it helps that they'll have a guaranteed audience of their peers cheering them on.

However, these Recital Hours were really, really bad last semester. It was beyond people being a little nervous and messing their stuff up. It was kids with massive egos having their sets fall apart because they were incompetent at holding rehearsals or even practicing their own music. The second hand embarassment was so much that the overall sentiment for next semester is that more of us really need to start signing up for these recital hours if we don't want to die of second hand embarassment every Thursday for the rest of our years here.

This inspired a ton of my friends to put things together to the year can at least start strong, and why I've convinced a ton of people to do a fun little Steely Dan set! I'm not their biggest fan ever but listening to Kid Charlemagne in the car on my drive to Thanksgiving dinner made me want to jam on that live so bad. I told my friend Jackson, who might be the biggest fan ever, that I wanted to do a Steely Dan set, and of course, he was all over it. Between him and me, we collected the best musicians we knew and told everyone to practice over winter break so we can hold rehearsals once we get back (praying everyone else did!!!!). 

We're doing Kid Charlemagne and Reelin' In The Years, which aren't terrible, but my third pick, Peg, has been giving me so much trouble to the point that I'm getting nervous that I won't be able to play it well at the performance in weeks. The verses are easy, but the chorus is, unfortunately for me, a slap bass part. I've only slapped once for a gig, but the lines were simple, and I had the excuse of only having five days to practice and the freezing cold weather to back up any missed notes (quite the story for another post). I've never had to do it since... until now. I should've listened to the bass part a little deeper before I picked the song instead of being distracted by Michael McDonald's god-tier harmonies. Trying to learn years of technique in a few weeks is a little crazy. I keep getting discouraged, but as long as I can keep up practicing every day, I think I'll be okay.

4 of my 5 basses. I left one in my locker over break
by accident </3

My Music Collection

Today's CD is Dawn FM by The Weeknd! While I'm not a fan of his slower music, The Weeknd knows how to make a dance track. What I like about there always seems to be something from this guy's discography that anyone can enjoy. It's a basic pick, but Take My Breath (the album's extended version) is my favorite. I love the buildup of the song and it's really fun live (my friend had me go last minute in 2025).

most of my CD cases are a little banged up
from being in the car, which is why all the discs
are safely stored in their own car-safe pouch now

Thanks for reading! I know my posts have been a little drier than they were to start, but things will pick up again when the semester starts next week. See you tomorrow. -G