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1.25

 Final post of the month! I've been less active on here, but that's only because of how busy college has me. I'll probably only be posting once or twice a week during the semester. 

Apocalypse Now freaks me the fuck out

(This will contain some spoilers.)

A youtuber I regularly watch, Wendigoon, somehow got the rights to Apocalypse Now. I woke up the other day to a notification, thinking it was just an analysis of this film, but it was actually just the movie itself.

Before today, I've only seen bits and pieces of this movie through a roommate I had my sophomore year of college. Me and my friend got put with her and two of her friends randomly that year, and to put it lightly, her and her friends were fucking weird. I always felt she was a little off, but one of my biggest turnoffs was her uncomfortable obsession with this movie. There were times when she would sit in our common room and watch this movie over and over and over without a pause and even called it her comfort movie.

I usually don't get disturbed by movies. Gore in TV and movies doesn't bother me too much since it really fascinates me from an artistic sense (as soon as I finished the Terrifier movies, I ran to YouTube to try to find BTS videos to see how the hell they did all that). I actually love horror in general and most of my favorite movies of all time are horror movies.

I know Apocalypse Now isn't labeled as a horror movie, but I bring all that up because this movie feels more like a horror movie than The Shining or The Thing or the gazillionth shitty sequel they make to The Conjuring. Just from the clips I had seen from my roommate's repeat marathons, something about this movie makes me feel sick. The clip that's always haunted me is when Willard kills Kurtz while the village sacrifices the cow at the same time. The way this movie is shot and scored (and later knowing that the cow was actually killed for that scene) gives it an energy that just makes my heart drop to my stomach for some reason. From just seeing that scene and the Rise of the Valkyries scene, the movie made me feel so uneasy and it really baffled me that my roommate watched it for comfort.

I've always meant to see this movie eventually, even before I lived with that roommate, so today I hesitantly hopped on to Wendigoon's channel and watched it,

apocalypse now horror GIF by Maudit - Find & Share on GIPHY
me in my bed right now
I've been sitting here for the past half hour trying to figure out what I'd even rate this movie but I don't think I'll ever figure out a number. I think I hate this movie, despite also thinking it's a very good movie. It's really unsettling. The score is (intentionally) disorienting. Pretty much all the characters disturb me. The slightly normal ones just die. Lutz is just fucking scary, and there's so many layers to him that I'm sure I'll have better words for once I think about this movie for a while. Willard is also scary, but he's easier to follow. The ending still freaks me out just the same, if not more so. Evil itself feels like its own separate being in this movie, and it consumes everyone.

Do I even recommend watching this movie? If you're looking to be creeped out and upset, sure.

Here's an interesting video on that scene as well:


If you watch this movie, let me know! This is definitely a film worth discussing at least. See you guys next time -G

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  1. PeachFebruary 2, 2026 at 3:09 PM

    Trying to post all the time is hard, I feel you. College had me by the throat this month and so trying to do writing that's not mandatory, even though fun, can be hard. We have a little community that understands that though and will keep check in <3 here's to slight procrastination

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