1.13

The Art of Practicing and Why It Drives Me Insane

Practicing my instrument is probably my favorite and least favorite thing I do on a regular basis. Depending on the day, when I decide that I'm done for now, I often feel like this:

or this:

...or this:

Sometimes I feel that if I just read that jazz chart for another hour, improvising would finally click for me. Sometimes I feel that I haven't improved at all in a year, and that's no use to practice at all anymore. 

And on rare occasion, for whatever reason, I'll feel like I had the best practice session ever and that I improved more in an hour than I have my entire time as a bassist. For a second, everything click,s and music just flows out of me like I've been doing this my whole life. 

Those days are like experiencing terminal lucidity before you die. Because for whatever reason, I come back to my books and songs the next day, and it's like the day before never happened.

No matter what I write down or how many hours I'm practicing a week, the inconsistency remains the same. I know progress isn't linear but why does my progress line feel so much like this instead of just a jagged but slowly rising curve? I feel like I'm constantly getting better and worse at the same time and it's maddening. Trying to become a good musician feels like trying to zoom in on the Mandelbrot set, looking for a definite set of answers: it only gets more and more complicated as you go, with no end in sight.

So what's the point of doing this to myself: playing a game with no winners or losers that only gets harder with each infinite level? I guess it's simply for the love of the game. All of the infinitely small steps of progress I make allow me to express myself in ways I couldn't do anything else. And performing for my friends or even just myself makes it all seem worth it, even when practicing drives me up a wall most days.

My Music Collection

Today's CD is You'd Prefer an Astronaut by Hum! I've heard the term "space grunge" thrown around here and there but this is the most concrete example I've found of it. The album mixes 90s grunge with space rock, using some of the best guitar tones you'll hear and some really great drumming. 

It takes me back to the week I spent in Yellowstone with my family. I stayed out by myself at night just to look at the sky. There's no other place I've been where that many stars and even nebulae were visible.  I tried my best to take photos, but my iPhone 11 camera wasn't much help. 

My favorite off the record is Why I Like The Robins, which has some of my favorite lyrics and guitar tones of any rock song. 

A photo I snapped of Ursa Major in Lamar Valley. You can
also see the end of Little Dipper, another song on this album.

Thanks for reading! The great winter break stretch is nearly over, and I'm excited to start sharing the horrors and wonders of the semester with you guys starting on Tuesday! See you tomorrow. -G