1.4

I don't have a ton to say today, but I will tomorrow. My cousin and I are going to Maine tonight for the hell of it. I come with you today with a realization, a quick rant, and another album:

I Accidentally Became a Morning Person

I used to always say I was a night person, but I think that's only because of how I grew up. Nighttime as a kid meant freedom for me. I was just Going Through it all the time, so the morning and afternoon always felt like being in a jail cell: I had to go to a school that I hated and take classes I didn't care for, and everyone I interacted with made me more insecure. Those insecurities didn't go away when the sun went down, but at least I didn't have to hide how I was feeling anymore.

But since I started going to college in the fall of 2023, the independence I got has let me start recovering from all the shit my brain put me through in grade school. It's been a long journey to actually learn who I am as a person after feeling like a husk for so long, and this week I discovered that I don't actually hate mornings. 

This happened because I got so invested in something I was studying that I didn't go to bed until 8 AM. I woke up around 4 PM, and from there, my sleep schedule kept getting pushed forward a few hours every day. However, once I got to waking up at 7 AM, it just stopped moving forward. I spent the first 20 years of my life sleeping through the day, just trying to get it over with, but now I actually appreciate getting all my tasks done for the day, and then still having the rest of the day to do whatever I want.

It's kinda like my issue with breakfast. I thought I hated it when I was younger because I really don't like eggs most of the time, and that's what breakfast meant in my house. It turns out that I do like it when I pick what I'm eating. I actually like mornings when I'm not forced to do things that make me feel awful. It turns out that when you have the freedom to choose what to do with your life, a lot of things aren't as bad as they might've seemed.

my breakfast, though I wasn't very impressed with the yogurt

Subscriptions

Why the hell is everything a subscription now? I have the Grammarly extension on my computer to help me keep my writing as clear as possible (if it underlines something, I'll rewrite it myself to try to make it less confusing to read). But the moment I created this post, I got a pop-up asking me to pay $70 a year for basically nothing? Some more 'pro' suggestions and some piece of shit generative AI? What's scary about that is that they wouldn't be advertising it to me if people weren't buying it. Why are people falling for these subscription traps? Why have companies convinced people that this is the way it has to be? There are free resources online that will do things your subscriptions say they'll do... except for free. Or even better, learn how to do things yourself. People would rather spend the $70 to do less thinking instead of just proofreading the things they write. I've heard even new cars have subscriptions for certain features now. Why?????

My Music Collection

I thought I was gonna bounce back and forth between my CDs and vinyl but I forgot about that today. Whatever. That means today's record is another vinyl I own by Animal Collective! Merriweather Post Pavilion was released in 2009 and sees a relatively more sophisticated approach to music when compared to their older work. From what I can gather from old reviews, this was one of their bigger commercial successes, and I can see why. AnCo keeps the quirks they're known for but blends them with more pop-driven writing, with anthems about their day-to-day lives and emotions, as well as their love for their family and partners that's so strong it'll infect you as well. It's danceable too! 

When you go through AnCo's discography in order, you can see them coming to terms with growing up one album at a time. Spirit... is infused with the terror that might come right at the cusp of reaching adulthood, and by the time we get to Merriweather... there's more emphasis put on the good things that have come out of their adult lives, the most important of those things being their families. 

It's a common occurrence for bands to lose their spark once the members settle down with their families, but I don't find it true for AnCo at all. I think that's because their music and themes have always been able to evolve with them. And beyond that, I think what continues to make them so special is that even the fears and sorrows they write about always, in a way, reflect their love for life. Even their instrumentals scream that loud and clear to me, sounding organic even on their more electronic-based tracks. Merriweather... is best suited for hot muggy summer days, but it's a wonderful listen for anytime of the year when you just want to feel warm.

My favorite off the album has always been In The Flowers, which I got the privilege of hearing live back in 2022. Really, really beautiful song that makes me visualize being in a magic crystal cave and getting my astral projection launched into the sun.

my dearest optical illusion

That's all for today. See you tomorrow with a CD next time! -G